Wednesday, December 22, 2004

US to invade service station for charging too much for gas

The pentagon has announced America's intention to invade the Shaffer Good Custom Service Station in Prosiac, Montanna unless it starts charging less to US citizens.

Typical Service Station.

Diplomatic efforts are being made to prevent the invasion and the UN has offered to send in Price Inspectors. US Secretary for Defense, Insert Name, said that this was all "Time Wasting" and denounced Rob Shaffer, proprietor of the service station, as one of the most evil men known to man.

Also on this 'evil' list also includes Ernie Holt, pump attendant at the service station, and Seth Pinkerston who wipes the windscreens. "These men are a threat to civilisation as we know it," said a spokesman in a particularly gruff voice.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Latest Harry Potter Book Finished

Novelist J K Rowling has completed the latest installment in the Harry Potter series. Entitled "Harry Potter and the Neverending Pages," the book will weigh 20 Kg when released. Ms Rowling admitted that the weight of the book was important because it fitted in with "the philosophy of the work" and "the underlying exponentiality of the weight of the book was an important factor in that."

Ms Rowling took time to rubbish some of the rip-offs that have been appearing on the market since. Books such as "Carrie Motter and the Amazing Handbag," "Sally Slotter and the Mysterious Red Light," and "About a Boy" by Nick Hornby.

By 2010, Harry Potter books are expected to be registered planets in their own right.