Most Successful Valantine's Day Since Records Began

Shops, card manufacturers, restaraunts, and telephone companies have heralded this St Valentine's the most successful ever. Sales of CDs by ballardiers such as Michael Bolton and Celine Dion reached a peak during the middle of last week, and cards with slushy messages are selling better than ever before.

And it is not just a financial success.

Statistitions have reported that this year there was a 2.6% increase in the amount of love in the air and a staggering 4.8 drop in general cynicism and bitterness.

The only dark cloud was the statistics for couples who split up on the day itself which was 1.6% higher than last year. But overall, a great day to be happy and in a relationship.

Coming next, a sharp increase in suicides amongst webcam users.