New Pope says, "I am more progressive and anyone who says otherwise will be burned as a heretic."

Papus dictatum versii rentum. Papus Germanicus Dirkus Benedictus, ateamicum sensai. Bono nono dono gogo. Discum Papum balti papadamarum, papa dono preecho.

Wordt Nederlands te 'infected' met English?

Scientists bij de Centre For Scientific Excelence, Utrecht, heben een statement gereleased dat zegt dat de Nederlandse taal veel geinfecteerd heeft becomt door Engels. Dit komt na jaren research over de influence van andere talen, especially Engels. "Dit research is heel important voor de future van de study van Nederlands," zei Proffessor Richard van Gooiphet, Chair Professor of Dutch Language Studies van de University of Language and Anthropology in The Hague.

Bono Denies he is to be New Pope

U2 frontman, Bono (real name Brian O'No) has denied that he has been approached to be the next pope. Bono was believed to have been approached because of his humanitarian work, and also to help promote the new album, "How to Dismantle a Pop Song." The band's guitarist The Edge (real name Theodore Edgerow) said, "it would be a great honour to have a pope, there, but I'm sure Bono has not got alot on his plate, there, with all his other work. My own vote would go for Bob Geldorf."

Bob Geldorf (real name Snoop O'Dogg) denies receiving The Edge's vote.

Idols Stars Develop Tsunami Early Warning System

3 former international Idols stars have developed an ingenious system to detect an approaching Tsunami. The system developed during time when they could have been making TV appearances is their contribution to world's Tsunami appeal. Lexus from Germany, Tristia from Belgium and Borek from Slovakia decided that rather than donating their time to such short-term efforts as benefit concerts and telethons, they would use this time to study geophysics, wave technology and macro-electronics and develop a long-term solution.

"Basically, we thought we could donate our time on television," said Lexus, "but how much is this time really worth? Surely it is better to devote our time to developing something worthwhile, rather than attending some lame concert of B-list celebrities."

The system is expected to be ready for use in July 2006 and will be launched during the (anticipated) Soap Stars for Somalia concert.

Pope Dead, Tsumani Expected