Sunday, June 05, 2005

New-style constitution proposed.

In the wake of international rejection of the European Constitution, EU Commission members are scrambling to find a new form of constitution that is acceptable to the common man and woman.

One approach being explored that is expected to be popular with certain demographics is the Big Brother System. This is where ALL countries in the European continent are automatically members of the EU. This includes those counties that are not stirctly in the EU, but somehow manage to get considered European. For example Israel, which is physically in the Middle East, but is elegable for the Eurovision Song Contest. Under the Big Brother System, every year there will be a referendum to see which country will be voted out of the union.

Also being considered is the "Jeaux Sans Fontieres" System (also known as It's a Knockout), where every year each country gets together, dresses up in giant representation of their country's national dress, and compete against each other in farcical obsticle courses. The winner is put in charge of the union and can make up as many rules as they like.

The final option, which is not likely to garner much support, is called Operation Takeover, and is where the American Constitution is adopted in it's entirety. This will give European Citizens the right to "bare arms in times of clement weather," and "totally, like, the freedom of, you know, like, speaking, or whatever."