Sunday, July 31, 2005

Today's No Waytu

Arrange the following letters in the grid above.

Ag, Al, Ar, As, At, Au, B, Ba, Be, Bh, Bi, Br, C, Ca, Cd, Cl, Co, Cr, Cs, Cu, Db, Ds, F, Fe, Fr, Ga, Ge, H, He, Hf, Hg, Hs, I, In, Ir, K, Kr, Li, Lr, Lu, Mg, Mn, Mo, Mt, N, Na, Nb, Ne, Ni, O, Os, P, Pb, Pd, Po, Pt, Ra, Rb, Re, Rf, Rg, Rh, Rn, Ru, S, Sb, Sc, Se, Sg, Si, Sn, Sr, Ta, Tc, Te, Ti, Tl, Uub, Uuh, Uuq, V, W, Xe, Y, Zn, Zr.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

No Waytu is Here!!!

No Waytu is the new Japanese puzzle to enthrall the nation, and here at Utter Newsense we don't just report the news as it happens, we try to cash every single fad that comes by. That's why we're happy to present our first ever No Waytu puzzle.

1) In every horizontal column, you must fit in once, and once only, each number from 1 to 9.
2) In the vertical columns, you must enter numbers in one of the following series: Fibonacci, Bernoulli, Monk (each series is only used at most 3 times).
3) Diagonally, must appear letters from the work DIAGRAMATICALLY, rearranged to form new words.
4) Circular around the edges, must be (in reverse order, anti-clockwise), the Hebrew alphabet.
5) When complete, and read backwards, the puzzle will reveal the true name of The Dark One, Satan, our anti-lord and destroyer. When you have this, please call the Answerline to see if you have won today's top prise. Answerline: 0666 666 6666 (International rates apply).

(c) 2005 Utter Newsense Corp.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Live8 organisers promise to do more for the consciences of stars.

Live8, Sir Robbie Geldorf's follow up to 1985's Live5 [Check this!] promised to do more for the consciences of such stars as U2's Robbie O'Bon and The Police's Robbie Sting. Some of these stars are living in ethical squalor and near moral starvation.

Said Children's author and actress Robbie Madonna, "It's time for us stars to give something back to the community. I have a lot of money, and influence, so I'm going to give a few hours of my valueable time. Time I could be spending finding the next young producer for my new albums. Although, chances are, he might be at Live8 anyway."

Said Tantric guru, Robbie Sting, "I can have sex for 24 hours, so for a 30 minute performance with encore to sing that terrible song at the end, why that's like missing out on a wank. If you call me performing my own songs, 'missing out on a wank.'"

Expected Highlights of Live8:
Pink Floyd to reform and cover Scissor Sisters songs
Spice Girls to Reform and cover Pink Floyd songs
Freddie Mercury to return from dead (unconfirmed)
U2 to split and not pursue solo careers (hopefully)