TED: (puts phone down) The cheek of it?
DOUGAL: What's that there?
TED: The fellers there on Rugged Island, they've been going round telling everyone they're the real Craggy Island. And that they're the real us.
TED: Yes. They're getting all the tourists that we should be getting there.
DOUGAL: Are you sure that's not true now, Ted?
TED: Yes, Dougal.
DOUGAL: Are you sure? Because I'm having doubts now. I mean I want to be sure I am who you say I am.
TED: Dougal. You are the real Dougal McGuire.
DOUGAL: Oh, right that's good there.
TED: I'm the real Father Ted Crilly.
DOUGAL: Ah, thank goodness.
TED: And one thing we can be sure of: Father Jack is still the Father Jack we always knew.
JACK: Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. TEA!!!!!