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Headlines: Anger over healthcare reform causes increased heart-attacks

on September 15, 2009

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Rally-goers warned to make sure they have health insurance before they go getting "all worked up."

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Space Force Uniforms Unveiled

Lyrics: A Modest Proposal by Taylor Swift

We gotta stop the children
stop the children
from being a burden
from being a burden
stop the children
stop the children
from being a burden
from being a burden

Mamma, don't let your child
Go out and be wild
Be a burden to all
And drop out from school

Say this is it
For our benefit
And what do we need?
We need to feed.

A healthy child so well nursed,
at one year fit to burst,
Is not only delicious
but also nutricious

They make wholesome food,
whether roasted or stewed,
Your child may be spoiled
but not when they're boiled;

No matter what you do
a fricassee, or ragout
You will have done well
When your child's done well

So Cash in your flock
Your chips off the old block
Give the wealthy a treat
Turn your monsters to meat

And feel guilty no more
About fast-food galore
Your logic is sound
There's more to go round

So do what is right
Decide it tonight
It's a simple, honest fate
From playroom to plate

And say the world's doing fine
With this modest proposal of mine

L…

Historical News: New Chancellor promises voters to "Get Lebensraum Done"

The New Chancellor has today promised the people to "Get Lebensraum Done!" "After years of dithering and opposition from other parties, it is time to get it done." he stated to assembled members of the press.

"We will implement it with lightning speed. It will be simple. It will be over by Christmas and there will be no downside; no repercussions. After we have implemented it we will be revered around the world for years to come. They will commended us for our bravery and clear superiority. We will become the greatest nation ever.

The Chancellor went on to say that his recent victory in the 1932 election was a mandate to not only get Lebensraum done but to change politics for good. Asked whether he meant "for good" as in "forever" or as in "for the benefit of the people," the Chancellor waffled a bit about getting Getting Lebensraum done, whatever that means.

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