Open Letter from a Publicity Seeker

Dear Celebrity or Head of Major Organisation,

You don’t know me, and that’s why I’m writing this letter. I could send it direct to you, but then no one would know I’d sent it, and the purpose is not to simply inform you of some facts or opinions or opinions masquerading as facts, but to inform the world that I have informed you of these facts or opinions or opinions masquerading as facts. You have recently spoken out about or simply on a topic I also have some passing knowledge of. You have created quite a buzz, whether you wanted to or not. It seems unfair to me that someone such as yourself, about whom there is already quite a bit of buzz, has said something that has generate even more buzz about yourself. Whereas someone such as myself has no buzz around them whatsoever, despite my numerous open letters on topics about which there is quite a bit of buzz. It is increasingly frustrating that my equally ill-thought-through opinions are not getting the airing, simply because you are “famous” whatever that means. What it seems to mean is that everything you say, creates some so-called buzz. Well, if that’s the definition, then logic dictates that anyone with buzz-worthy views should also be famous, and hence my letter.

I know as someone with a busy schedule, it might seem easy to simply ignore this letter, but please don’t. Please respond. In this crazy, celebrity-obsessed world, it is all too easy to ignore the unfamous, but by doing so you are ensuring they remain unfamous forever, which seems highly selfish. I don’t care how you respond: feint praise or severe trashing, but please do so in public, in keeping with the spirit of this open letter. In doing so, you will keep alive the discussion, feed the buzz and continue the great trickle-down effect of fame that has served our society so well over the years.

Yours Sincerely,

Richard Wannabé,

Publicity Seeker.