Nasa reveals that operation "Space: 1999" is 10 years behind schedule

Newsense Records re-release A-Boys First Album

The A-Boys were one of the first and best-loved of the 1980s Boy Bands. They followed the trusted model of putting diverse people together into one room (or in this case, van) and making sure there was something for everybody. There was the brainy one, the good-looking one, the angry one and the crazy one. For a while they were the best-selling artists on Oldsense Records, going triple-platinum with their albums, "The A-Boys", "Van full of Lovin'" and "Love is a pileup (but nobody gets killed)".

Tracks from the First album:

1. Theme From The A-Boys.
2. Oh Won't You Please (Get on the Plane).
3. You're Crazy, Fool!
4. Drink Your Milk.
5. Gonna Make a Love Boat (Outta this Old Farm Equipment)
6. Bad Attitude.
7. I Love It (When a Plan Comes Together).

After the success, there was the inevitable split and solo careers. BA, became Grand Master T and tried his hand, unsuccessfully, at rapping, which was a shame as "You're Crazy, Fool!" and "Bad Attitude" showed he had a delicate soulful voice. Faceboy released only albums and 12" singles because his face looked too small on 7" singles; and when he refused to issue CDs, soon disappeared. Hannibal went on to become a German air ace and won the Iron Cross. And Murdock became a widely respected, if hard to work with, musician releasing many albums that nobody bought.

Next Week: The Spice Team and Take That Mysteries DVDs are finally released.

Father Ted Sketch

TED: (puts phone down) The cheek of it?
DOUGAL: What's that there?
TED: The fellers there on Rugged Island, they've been going round telling everyone they're the real Craggy Island. And that they're the real us.
DOUGAL: Really?
TED: Yes. They're getting all the tourists that we should be getting there.
DOUGAL: Are you sure that's not true now, Ted?
TED: Yes, Dougal.
DOUGAL: Are you sure? Because I'm having doubts now. I mean I want to be sure I am who you say I am.
TED: Dougal. You are the real Dougal McGuire.
DOUGAL: Oh, right that's good there.
TED: I'm the real Father Ted Crilly.
DOUGAL: Ah, thank goodness.
TED: And one thing we can be sure of: Father Jack is still the Father Jack we always knew.
JACK: Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. Dri.. TEA!!!!!

OJ Simpson may face death penalty for disrupting TV schedules.

OJ Simpson TV show publicising his new book, "How I Killed My Wife In The Perfect Conditional Tense" has had to be pulled due to pressure from the families of the people he would have killed in the way outlined in the book.

Instead, Simpson has issued a statement about how sales could have been entitled "If They Had Shown It."

Movies blamed for upsurge in violence on TV

Mark Schulster, executive at LCD Broadcasting Company, has claimed that the recent upsurge in violence on TV is directly linked to the current trend in violent movies. He said, "it's all too easy to claim it is a social problem, but we all know in our hearts it is linked to movies."

He cites "Mutant Death Cop IV" shown last night on LCD 1 at prime time. The violence in this show is directly related to movies such as "Mutant Death Cop II" and "Mutant Death Cop III: Badge of Blood. Both of which were aired last week on LCD 1."

Schulster lamented the fact that movies were no longer inteligent and story-driven as they used to be. He recalled a favourite movie of his, "Mutant Death Cop," which was about a tragically deformed police officer coming to terms with his own disability and zombie rapists from beyond the Earth. "In the present climate of 'violence, violence, violence' fostered by the movie industry, nobody wants to see this movie any more. In fact I saw it last night and the effects were awful and it cut away just before some of the most gory bits? How are we expected to enjoy that crap? Where was I?"

Schulster finished by stating that his channel, LCD 1, would be showing a series of classic movies to get back to what film-making is really about. The series includes such cinematic classics as "Blood Splattered Graves of the Zombie Killers," "Drill Boy and Axe-Hole go Apeshit," and "The Sound of Music II: The Nazis' Revenge."

[LCD 1 is a division of the Utter Newsense Corporation]

Idols Stars Develop Tsunami Early Warning System

3 former international Idols stars have developed an ingenious system to detect an approaching Tsunami. The system developed during time when they could have been making TV appearances is their contribution to world's Tsunami appeal. Lexus from Germany, Tristia from Belgium and Borek from Slovakia decided that rather than donating their time to such short-term efforts as benefit concerts and telethons, they would use this time to study geophysics, wave technology and macro-electronics and develop a long-term solution.

"Basically, we thought we could donate our time on television," said Lexus, "but how much is this time really worth? Surely it is better to devote our time to developing something worthwhile, rather than attending some lame concert of B-list celebrities."

The system is expected to be ready for use in July 2006 and will be launched during the (anticipated) Soap Stars for Somalia concert.