Royalty News

Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands meets
Swiss Tony at Maastricht University.

"Running a University is very much like making love to a beautiful woman."

Egyptian Premier Denies he is Puppet of West, Demands Cookies

Public Confused: Is new Star Wars film 3rd Prequel or 5th Sequel?

Darth Sith Yoda Vader Gonzo Wookies Han Luke Ewoks Solo Laia Floyd.

Scientific Report Denies Friday 13th is Day of Bad Luck

Scientists at the Research Centre for Metaphysical Phenomenon claim to have proved categorically there is nothing unlucky about Friday 13th. Professor Chung Kwai Woo informed a select group of members of the press from his hosptial bed where he is recovering after a fall yesterday, which delayed the initial conference. Professor Chung explained that the conference was due to be taken by Professor Schmidt, but his car was knocked off the road by an over-taking sewage truck. And Professor Schmidt's assistant had to return home early after her skirt got caught in the elevator.

Professor Chang stated that thorough research had proven that statistcially and logically, there was no extra levels of bad luck associated with the 13th day of the month and certainly not when the date landed on a Friday. Professor Chang explained that the research would be available for viewing, as soon as the disk containing the data and finalised paper could be recovered after coffee was spilt onto the computer yesterday.

Professor Change went on to say that the research had shown that Saturday the 14th was just as **BIOS 113.4: Disk Corruption error. File Terminated**

News in Briefs

Donald Rumsfeld denies having Dickensian name.
Condoleezza Rice admits name is an anagram. Refuses to say of what.
George Bush admits he is denying to admit to... what was the question, now?